Do you have anxiety or depression? Find out the root cause of these painful feelings and what you can do about it. Most current feelings of anxiety and depression – apart from anxiety and depression that have physical or chemical causes – are caused by some form of self-neglect. Anxiety and depression are the way of your inner guidance to let you know that you are abandoning yourself. Most people want to believe that their anxiety or depression is being caused by the past, other people or events, but these are not the cause of the most current anxiety and depression.
There are three levels of self-abandonment.
1. Self-judgment and other lies
The first level of self-abandonment is the self-judgments and other lies that we tell ourselves. Have you ever told any of these lies and judgments?
- I’m not nice.
- I am unworthy and do not deserve love.
- It is my fault that he/she does not like me.
- I am inadequate.
- I’m a failure. I’ll never get to anything.
- I’m ugly. I am too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too dark, too light, and so on.
- I’m selfish when I take care of myself.
- I am alone and I will always be alone.
- No one will ever love me.
Telling yourself these lies and judgments is like telling a small child. The child would feel very anxious and depressed to hear these statements from you. Likewise, your inner child feels anxious and depressed when you judge and lie to yourself.
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2. Ignore the feelings you are creating with your own judgments
The second level of self-abandonment is to ignore the pain it is causing for self-judgment. You could lie to yourself by telling yourself that your pain is being caused by others, past or circumstances, rather than by your own judgment and lies. When you ignore the feelings you are causing, the message to your inner child is that he or she is not important to you. Your feelings do not matter. Now you not only feel the anxiety or depression that comes from your lies and self-judgments, but it exacerbates your painful feelings by ignoring the feelings you are creating.
3. Turning to Addictions – Approval, Sex, Substances, Processes
Now he feels intense anxiety, depression, anger, pain, etc., and he gives up using several addictions to numb the pain and avoid responsibility for it. Since you are doing anything but loving yourself and your inner child always needs love – or at least some way to fill up the inner emptiness and loneliness – your wounded self now becomes old addictive ways learned from avoiding pain. You could pull someone to give you attention or approval. You can try to get someone to have sex with you, or masturbate to pornography on the Internet. You can use substances: food, sugar, nicotine, caffeine, drugs or alcohol. Or to processes such as TV, work or games of chance.
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As for any of these addictions pacifies pain for the moment – that’s how they become addictions – but because they are all ways of giving up on themselves, they only lead to more pain in the long run.
Now you are not only in the pain of self-judgments and then ignoring your feelings, but now you are in a deeper pain to make others responsible for your feelings or numb with substances and processes.
You are trapped in the vicious circle of abandonment that feeds on itself. He will not leave this cycle until he stops abandoning himself and instead moves with the intention of learning to love himself.
Shital regularly contributes on top health magazines and healthy living ideas to health blogs around the web. When she’s not busy working with the jobs, you will find her undertaking many of her own health-related topics and healthy living ideas! She has a lot of dreams. She works hard to fulfill her dreams. She loves to share her ideas, tricks, tips and information by blogging. She also works at Creativejasmin.com, a company that committed to helping businesses with online marketing.